


Emails from Ninomiya

by jade_lil



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Arashi - Freeform, Crack, F/M, Fanfiction, Fluff, Matsumiya - Freeform, Ohmiya - Freeform, Romance, Sakumiya, aimiya - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-24
Updated: 2013-09-24
Packaged: 2017-12-27 13:08:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/979297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jade_lil/pseuds/jade_lil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>originally posted @ http://jade-lil.livejournal.com/51145.html</p>
    </blockquote>





	Emails from Ninomiya

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Letters from Ninomiya](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/27896) by amh1988. 



> originally posted @ http://jade-lil.livejournal.com/51145.html

**To :      Junnosuke**  
Subj :  No Subject  
Message :

  
Please stop doing what you always do while pretending you’re not actually doing it especially when I’m not around to see it.

_Please?_

I’m begging you, because it’s beginning to piss the hell out of me.

Ohchan’s body is exclusively mine and mine alone and leaving him be for a good two minutes with you around drives me insane.

Okay, okay, I admit. I feel a little restless. Don’t you dare raise your thick eyebrows at me because it’s not what you think it is. You’re presence isn’t threatening me, not at all. It’s just that Ohchan’s a bit scared, no, he’s really scared that you would actually strangle his poor, lovely neck if he as much as moves away from your pervert little hands.

Subtlety’s not your best point, _princess_. And I just want to make things clear.

Ohchan is mine. You can settle for Sho-chan’s ass for all I care.

**From : Nino [Ohno’s master owner]**

______________________________________________________

  
 **To : Aiba**  
Subj : No Subject  
Message :

Sometimes, I often wonder how I was able to put up with your stupidity, much more carry on with that after almost a decade.

It’s actually depressing how I look back and remember how dumb I was for agreeing to work as your assistant in all those freaking experiments you performed on us when we were starting out.

_Mirror Man? Well, fuck me._

Honestly, that’s one HUGE reason why I never actually watched, or even attempts on watching a single episode of AnoArashi. 

It’s a good thing they didn’t ask for your opinion in Shiyagare.

Or I might be forced to submit my early retirement. Thank God for little mercy.

**From : Ninomiya [Your friendly neighborhood neighbor]**

  
_____________________________________________________

 **To : Sho**  
Subj : No Subject  
Message :

  
I respect you.

I mean, really, really respect you. With you being a caster and all, and you know, being someone we can rely on to when things starts turning pretty shitty here and there.

But well, can I just say something? This has been bugging me for quite sometime now and I think it’s just fair to say it after all the things we’ve been through, right?

Okay.

Will you stop playing with your leg hairs, please?

I mean, seriously. You do that since we debuted, and at first it’s kind of funny when you curl those disgusting hairs into a ball and began throwing it around like it’s some kind of a volleyball, but, ten years after?

You’ve got to be kidding me, right?

I wonder what your professors in Keio U will say.. not that I’m thinking about spilling this out, but, well, you know.

You can talk me out of it if you want. A good bowl of ramen will do the trick.

Will wait.

**From : Nino [Master Informer]**

______________________________________________________

  
 **To : Ohno**  
Subj : No Subject  
Message :

  
As much as I love being with you, I came to the conclusion that after everything I did for you, I feel like they weren’t enough.

_Why?_

Because the only thing you think about lately is _fish._

Fishing tuna. Fishing fish. Fish. Fish. And more fucking fish.

I hate losing you over a drama and over Chinen but losing over a fish is too much. A man can only take so much, Satoshi.

Especially when you come home, feeling all revived and happy and toasted black as if you just came out of a barbeque stick. It makes me sick seeing your skin peel off whenever I try to kiss you.

It’s kind of disgusting, you know.

At least take the sunblock with you. I didn’t spend money for those stupid things if they weren’t important, right?

Come home early. We’ll shower together okay?

**From : Kazu [The Best Boyfriend/Wife Ever]**

**PS.**   _I bought pepper spray for you. You can use it to keep Matsujun a few feet away from you when I’m not around._


End file.
